Paris day one - Eye Opener

We rose super early to make our way to the train station. Of course the tube route we had planned fell through with some sort of construction going on. Fortunately, we navigated around it easily enough. We made it in plenty of time. Crossing that border is LOTS easier than the American one.

As soon as we got into the lounge area, the fun began. Everything was announced in both English and French. It occurred to me that maybe we should have learned at least a few words in French. Americans are considered ignorant because the large majority of us speak only one language.

Not long after we started on the train, they switched from speaking English first then French to French first. I thought it would happen once we got into France, but we hadn't gone far. It was fun trying to pick out words to make sense of what they were saying. But I was grateful for the English translation!

We had to come to a complete stop at one point out in the middle of no where. Some sort of technical difficulty, but we never got a full explanation. We thought we were still in England and admired the countryside.

I slept for a bit at first. I'm not sure what happened, but I finally woke up and could not get back to sleep. The clock kept ticking and we never went underground (aka under the channel). Before we knew it, we were in Paris. So much for my reservations about being in a train under water. We're not sure when it happened on the trip, but obviously it's painless enough to complete.

After four days in London, I had gotten used to the level of rudeness. I think it's just what comes with living in a city that size and all the people. People are very matter of fact and don't waste any time on pleasantries. But I did find that when I did greet someone on an elevator or on the tube, they were nice enough. I can't say the same for Paris.

The train station where we came in was very confusing. Every word is about 20 letters long and none of it makes any sense. We asked for some help and got blank stares. I've heard of this experience from quite a lot of people before we came over. There is definitely no love lost between the French and foreigners that don't know their language, especially Americans.

There is truly an irony about their snobbishness toward the English speaking tourists. At lunch a woman from yet another country, I have no idea which, didn't know French. She went back and forth with quite a few wait staff. Finally, the hostess switched to English and they conversed more easily. I guess that makes us the lowest common denominator in one sense, but at the same time unites us all.

We stopped in a shop and bought a city map. We found the street our hotel is on and tried to match it up to the subway routes. However, there was no "You are here" red dots on the train station map. The tension was mounting.

We eventually got some directions from one person that put us on our way. The subway here is like everywhere else. It's a tangle of spaghetti and you just jump in head first trying to find the line you need. We got very lucky in our first attempt.

The next challenge was once we stuck our heads above ground. The streets here are CONFUSING to say the least. It's not an intersection with four corners, but eight. Following a street straight across presents a significant challenge. But again, we made our way easier than we probably should have. I guess it was just dumb luck.

We got to our hotel and settled in. I got online and ordered bus tour tickets. Getting them printed was entertaining, but we managed that, too. It was back to the subway line to make our way to the Arc De Triomphe. We popped out of the ground and there it was. And there too were the people. And cars. And honking motorists. It was a ZOO!!

We got lunch and jumped on the tour bus. We rode around in mini circles for about two and a half hours. I must have taken five hundred pictures. The architecture here is so extravagant. And it goes on forever. Every building is at least five stories high and it is all so symmetrical. And all of the streets are laid out so views of major attractions compliment each other. There was obviously a major type A person involved in laying out the city. My anal retentive side picked up on it immediately.

We pooped out after the bus tour and came back to the room. Tony hasn't been feeling well since he returned two weeks ago. I'm not sure how you go to a doctor in Europe, but he needs to. I think it's just a cold, but it's lingered so long. Some antibiotics might help. But being a tourist has doubly worn him out. He fell asleep before 7:30 and is still snoring. I'll let him sleep all night and then tomorrow, we're off to more adventures. We might be country bumpkins from the sticks of the US, but we fend for ourselves pretty dang well!

London Day 4 - Proficient

Today I traversed the tube lines fairly well. I only got on one train heading in the wrong direction. It was easy enough to fix by hopping off at the next stop. I even figured out how to add money to my card so I could go outside of my purchased zones. While I might be getting the hang of this stuff, I definitely don't want to stay!! The city life is NOT for me!!

I saw Buckingham Palace today at one of the worst possible times. It was changing of the guard time. They are only doing it every other day right now, so that made for mass hysteria by onlookers. I got there about 5 minutes before it was to start. People were shoving and being entirely rude. I made a bee line for the closest exit. I did get back away from them and managed to get a few pictures of the grounds.

I then got to see the Royal Mews. Like me, I'm sure you have no idea what that is. It's the Queen's horse stable. I got to see some amazing carriages today. The coronation carriage is all gold. UNBELIEVABLE!!

I then made my way over to Kensington Palace. And no, I didn't get to see Georgie Porgie! It's not the most grand building on the outside, but the grounds are beautiful. I can understand why Diana, and now her son, wanted to live there. The 30 or so rooms that we got to see ranged from extraordinarily beautiful and ornate to just ho hum. It was quite the experience to see.

My final place to visit was one of my favorite. I've seen this place on TV for YEARS!! Wimbledon!! It was quite a tube ride out and a mile walk one way, but so worth it. I missed the last full tour, but I was able to see the museum and center court. I'm sure it was the glass enclosure that I was in, but center court wasn't as big as I had imagined it in my mind. Maybe I'm just so used to the gigantic stadiums that we have in the US for sporting events. But it was definitely hallowed ground for me. I didn't cry, but I was close!!

It was finally time to head back to the hotel and hopefully rest for the evening. But Tony had different plans. We're to head out to Paris in the morning and he wanted to do a dry run to the train station we'll be taking and drop off our extra luggage. It's yet again a late night. But maybe I can sleep on the trip to France tomorrow. I don't like the idea of being under water on a train.

I've managed to survive the tortures of non stop sight seeing up to this point. I have been going ever since I landed basically. Let's see if I survive Paris!

London Day three - Zombified

Today I saw The Globe, The Tower Bridge, The Tower of London, and All Hollows Church. I also walked 3+ miles I'd say. I think since I've been here, I've probably walked a half marathon. My feet feel like bloody pulps. What I wouldn't give for a hot tub soak on the back porch of my little cabin in the woods at this point.

My brain (and entire body for that matter) is in overload. I've taken in so many sights and information placards that I don't remember which end is up. Today at about 3:30 p.m. I reached "tilt" mode. I found a Starbucks and sat. I debated on what there was left to see versus sitting. Sitting won. I was a little concerned about getting back to the hotel. I just didn't have anything left in the tank to motivate me to get moving.

I somehow managed to traverse the multiple tube lines to get back. I came in and passed out. Tony ended up having to work late. It was a blessing! I got a couple hour nap and refueled. We went to dinner and roamed around a bit making plans for our weekend in Paris. I know I was there with him, but much of it is a blur. The nap helped, but I'm in a major deficit. Maybe tonight will do the trick.

Tomorrow is Buckingham and Kensington Palaces. I also want to figure out how to get to Wimbledon. Traversing the tube lines takes good concentration. They are a tangle of spider webs that go in all directions. But you have to include in the mix the hordes of people that are buzzing around you at all times. Luckily I've avoided them at rush hour. I can only imagine the level of chaos then!

London is the other city that never sleeps. The similarities between London and New York are endless. The streets are full of honking cars and people. The simple act of crossing the street can cost you your life. For one, the traffic is moving in opposite direction as the US. Fortunately at every cross walk, they have written on the pavement which way you're to look. And the traffic lights go from green, yellow, to red versus red, yellow, green. I still haven't figured out the logic behind it. But I can tell you I don't cross a busy street unless there are other people there telling me when it's safe to cross.

I've been here three days and that's pretty much my limit in a place away from home. I think I could go home today and feel like I've experienced Europe. But we leave for Paris Saturday morning. I know I'll be grateful for all these experiences when it's said and done. But right now I feel like I'm trying to swallow the entire watermelon. There is just so much to see and do.

Sleep will be much welcomed again tonight. I hope I can muster the strength needed to see the sights planned tomorrow. Being a zombie is no fun!

London Day One and Two

I've been on a long hiatus with Tony being home. But forgive me while I use this space as sort of a journal to keep up with what has gone on while I'm here.


Day one - October 8th
I finished up my massage training, submitted my recertification, and set sail for the airport. I was a good girl and got there three hours in advance. It made for a long wait, but it was better than rushing and stressing about being on time.

The first flight to DC went by quickly and uneventful. I had to be the luckiest person on the plane to London though. Both of the seats beside me were empty. That meant I could lay down to sleep. However, after a man attempted to sit on me about half way through the flight, I couldn't get back to sleep. Not a good thing!

Being the fiercely independent ox that I am, I wouldn't let Tony meet me at the airport. I figured that if I was going to have to figure out how to get around while he was at work, I might as well start sooner rather than later. I made it to the hotel without a single problem amazingly enough.

He came home at lunch to see me. I then made my way into town to get a bus tour ticket. I got on it and roamed the streets of London. I wore out two camera batteries and the one on my phone taking pictures. This place is amazing.

I finally gave out and decided to come to the hotel. I took an ever so brief nap and Tony was here. He decided I had to see London at night. We must have walked 3 miles. I was exhausted and begged to come back. He finally greed to it. I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.


Day Two - October 9th
If it was a bus that hit me yesterday, it must have been a tornado today! I have walked to the point of my feet feeling bruised. I've only used my London Pass three times seeing St. Paul's Cathedral (yes, I walked up to the highest point of the dome, and then back down for a total of 1056 steps), Westminster Abbey, and The London Bridge Experience (which was supposed to be scary but was a total waste of time). The churches were amazing. I definitely could not describe them to do any sort of justice. Unbelievable is the first adjective that comes to mind.

I usually am a good navigator and can read a map without any problem. But I have gotten turned around in this city every time I'm out. Today I walked about two miles out of the way because I thought I was going in the right direction. I never even realized it. Tony pointed it out to me when I got back. I'm glad I didn't know else I probably would have sat in the street and cried I was that tired.

I've seen so many beautiful sights. Tomorrow is yet another day packed with seeing things (and walking!). I hope my body can keep up. I should have done some training before I came. Hindsight is always 20-20.

Ten

In honor of Tony coming home, I thought I'd make a top ten reasons I'm glad he's coming home list.

10. The grass needs mowed, and I can't get the dang lawn mower started. Those that know my fierce independent side know how much it pains me to have to admit I can't get it started. Yes, I've checked the gas tank, the oil, primed the little bulb thingie, pulled back the bar for it to start, and there is no choke. I gave myself a shoulder ache pulling that stupid cord. My Dad taught me well. I really hope the thing is broken and needs a "real" repairman. If he comes home, yanks the cord, and the damn thing starts, I might just take a sledge hammer to it!!!

9. The dogs, bunnies, and cat need some good ole Tony rough housing, lovin'. I'm not a good pet Mom. I feed them, pat their head, and that's about it. Well, if you don't count the long discussions (read sailor swearing tirades) about NOT barking. It's a good thing they can't talk. They'd have potty mouth for sure!

8. He can eat this ginormous bowl of Halloween candy that I bought and save me from myself. I've made a dent in it, but there's still a TON left. The tootsie rolls are my favorite.

7. I'll have my main squeeze to watch celestial beings with again in the hot tub. I know Cass is grateful she's off to college and doesn't have to be tortured with my amazement with meteor showers and full moons.

6. We will NO LONGER have to schedule time to talk on FaceTime. Five hour time differences SUCK as I've previously complained about.

5. He can eat all this food I've made him. I haven't cooked this much for him in our entire 28 1/2 year marriage. He has chili, vegetable soup, hashbrown casserole, apple cranberry bake, and manicotti to scarf up. That doesn't include the hamburger and steak. He's got a lot of eating to do. Mom always told me the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I'm going to do my best to convince him to stay home so I can avoid number 6 above!!

4. Maybe I should have done a top five or should have started this earlier. My brained dead mind is struggling to think.

3. Oh yeah. He can deal with all the off the wall, crazy stuff that happens. Just tonight the kitchen sink sprung a leak. I had to pull all the crap out from up under there and dry it up. Then I got to put my plumbing skills to good use (remember I'm a massage therapist!). I took off the elbow thingie (yes, that's the technical term!) and after pouring the water out nearly had to make a quick trip to the bathroom to toss my cookies. The stuff in that thing is DISGUSTNG!!! Of course I had to clean it out (more near vomit sessions) before I attempted to put it back on.  I can still smell that nasty smell after the fifth scrubbing of my hands. I got it back together and it works - for now. It's drying out with all the stuff strung all over the floor. So much for the tidy house I was going to surprise him with.

2. The house won't be nearly as empty when I come home from work. I haven't really had any truly lonely moments. But that moment of opening the door after being away will be better to have him here.

And finally....

1. I can't wait to have him here to hug his neck, kiss his face, and cuddle with. This cold weather has worked in his favor. I definitely need a cuddle buddy to keep me warm.

I look forward to my favorite cowboy riding back in town. I've missed his black shirts, jeans, cowboy hat, and cowboy boots. And of course I've missed his sense of humor. He can always make me smile, even when I have a permanent frown. Tick tock, tick tock. Not long now....

Eleanor

September 19th would have been her 68th birthday. Instead of us getting to spend it with her here on Earth, she's getting to spend it on angel's wings in Heaven. It must be a glorious sight for her.

Eleanor seriously disliked change and denial was her best friend. If she didn't believe something was true, then it just wasn't. Having four men in her life made it easier for that world to exist. She had a little plaque in her kitchen that said "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Those four men lived by that rule for sure. It's just what men do.

Eleanor grew up in a family of five children. She was the fourth child, but the first girl. She was the bell of the ball until her little sister, Debbie, was born. She always teased Debbie about stealing her thunder. But let me assure you, they all still knew who the alpha male was in the pack.

But try as she might, she couldn't deny she was sick when the pain became intolerable. I didn't like having to be the mirror she looked in related to her illness, but I realized I was the only one in her circle that was going to be truthful with her. When she was first diagnosed, my constant reminder to her was to focus on reaching another birthday. 

She had lost a lot of weight before she found out she was sick. She had achieved a clothes size that she had never seen before. She didn't want to go backwards, which is totally understandable. Once when she was talking about it, and it was just us, I told her that the number on the tag in her pants was not as important as the number she'd be at her next birthday.

I'm know she didn't like me telling her that, but I think it did help her put things into perspective. Our relationship was far too often antagonistic - a by product of me also carrying that alpha male gene. I was too honest and direct on more than one occasion which only contributed to the strain. But I think in this case, I was just what she needed.

There were very few times in our relationship when she asked for my opinion. But when she became ill, she did reach out to me. I don't know if it was my massage experience or the internet hound that I am when it comes to researching a topic. Probably a combination of both.

I was honored that she valued my advice and opinions. I didn't take the gesture lightly. I did my best to get the answers she was looking for when there was something she didn't quite understand.

When things started looking bleak, I turned to my Hospice training. I started talking to Tony about the possibilities of it being time to give her permission to let go. He, like his Mother, despises change. He wouldn't hear any of that to begin with. Denial, his best friend.

I was grateful that there was distance between Eleanor and me when the time finally came for all of them to have to accept that reality. If she had asked me, I wouldn't have been able to lie to her. It took the doctor's final word for all of them to accept it. I'm glad he has to live with the look in their eyes when the cloak of denial was removed. I wouldn't be able to bear that burden.

When I got to Charlottesville and grasped her hand, she looked deep within my soul and asked, "Is it okay?" At first I was confused, but then it hit me. She was asking one last time for my truthful opinion. 

Over the remaining hours, I did my best to assure her and her boys that all was well. Everyone knew each others hearts. When I look back, she let go much quicker than many do. That was classic Eleanor. When something needed done, get to doing it.

We will always honor and remember her birthday. But more importantly we will carry her spirit forward with us. That is what she'd want.

Happy birthday in Heaven Eleanor! We love and miss you but know you're right where you are supposed to be. Thank you for watching over us. We feel your spirit and are grateful for your love.

Trust

Tonight's yoga class was about trust. Trust of self. We warmed our bodies and spirits up for the final posture of crow. It is definitely a posture that requires you to trust yourself. We had the safety net of a pillow in front of us to avoid a face plant into the floor, but it's still a trying posture for ones courage.

As with any emotion, we have to give ourselves permission to feel it about ourselves before we can fully feel it for someone else. Because so few people practice that, it explains many of the problems in the world today. The first emotion that pops into my mind in that regard is love. But in actuality, trust must come before love.

Trust of self seems so easy. We know our likes, desires, wants, and needs better than anyone else. It should be a no brainier in pursuing the things that satisfy us. But upon closer inspection, it is one of the most difficult emotions to require of ourselves. It is far easier to lie to ourselves than to anyone else. And oh, how we lie!

Trust is one of the leading qualities people require of others. But in many cases, if we held ourselves to the same expectations that we hold others to, most of us would fail dismally. We ask far more of others than we do ourselves when it comes to trust.

Tonight's class was just as beneficial to me as it was my students. I hope they realize that. I ask of nothing in my class that I don't hold myself to. If only life could be as simple as doing a yoga posture with a pillow as a safety net. But it reminded me to stop, be present, and be accountable. For this, I trust myself. Can you?