Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Finale

Well, I did it!! My New Year's resolution last year was to pick a word each day and write something here. I had a few gaps along the way, but for the most part, I stuck with it. When I look back on what I accomplished, it's an amazing feeling. And when I look back at the entries, I realize that more than a few of them were personal journal entries for the most part.

It was a momentous year on so many levels. I do my best not to have regrets or negative feelings about things that happen in life. But there are some things that happened this year, that if possible, I would change and do differently. Or maybe I would have slowed down to breath in order to enjoy the moment more. And then there are others that couldn't have been done any more perfectly.

I've learned a tremendous amount about myself and those around me in the last year. Looking at each day and encapsulating it in an entry here truly did help me appreciate the real value of 365 days. That was my original goal as well as keeping me writing. I feel I've succeeded in that quest.

I appreciate all the support of this last year by those of you reading here or on my Facebook wall. I felt connected to all of you in a way that is difficult to explain. So many people use social networks in a negative manner. You have all given me renewed hope that they can be used in a positive way. It's all in your perspective and intent.

I'm not really sure what resolution I'll have for 2014. But I know now that I'm capable of taking one day at a time and savoring it. Happy New Year!!

December

For the month of December, I chose to post a daily Christmas memory on Facebook. I just went back to copy all of them to post here:
 
CM1:
I've always loved to make Christmas ornaments and it's a tradition that I've carried on with my little family. The first ornaments I remember making were the white bisque figures that you painted. I wonder what ever became of them?!

CM2:
There were five us in my family. I remember one Christmas where there were so many gifts under the tree you couldn't get anywhere near it. It looked like a sea of presents.
CM3:
My Dad was always pulling pranks on my Mom. One year he gave her a gift that was wrapped in progressively smaller boxes. And some of the boxes were wrapped in tightly wound newspaper. Knowing his antics, she refused to go any further after the first few boxes. She just knew he hadn't even put anything in it and was just doing this to torture her. He assured her there was something in the last box. After about 20, she finally opened a beautiful cluster diamond ring. I guess her efforts were worth it
CM4:
Like my Dad, I’ve always been a prankster. Five years ago, we had 10 lab puppies. We were only going to keep one chocolate boy. I had a few clients that were going to take the remaining 9 puppies, but Cassidi fell in love with the yellow girl. I told her it was already given away. She pouted and asked me which was more important, her daughter’s feelings or my client’s. I told her my client’s since I had made a promise before she had changed her mind.
Fortunately for me, this client has a heart of gold. We conspired and she played along with my prank. On Christmas Eve, she came to pick up the puppies she requested. She was taking a chocolate boy, the yellow girl, and a white girl. We gathered them all up and headed for her truck.
I slipped Leslie the collar I had made with Daisy’s name on it. She put it on her and then trailed off in Cassidi’s direction who was sulking going back to the dog’s cage. She told her she thought something was wrong with the dog. Cass whipped around with the look of “What could possibly be wrong with the most perfect dog ever?!
She saw the name on the collar and burst into tears. I was crying right alongside of her. Of course my daughter’s feelings mattered the most and it was probably one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten to give someone. Sorry for the prank, Cass, but I know you still love Daisy more than anything. Well, other than Jen of course.
CM5:
When cell phones finally became affordable to the everyday person, I decided to get one for Tony for Christmas. I was so proud of myself in getting the perfect gift for him. I'm awful at surprises, but I had gotten it early, hid it to charge it, and kept the secret. One day when I got home from work and had gotten the mail, Tony for some odd reason was there that day going through it with me. We had gotten Christmas cards from all over and were looking at each as I opened them. I opened this one that didn't have a return address. It had a Santa Claus on the front talking on a cell phone. I was perplexed, and had no idea what the inside was going to hold or whom it was from. And dang it if it wasn't from the cell phone company thanking us for our purchase! I burst into tears and ran out of the room knowing that the wonderful surprise I had planned was foiled. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, Tony didn't have a clue what was going on. I had to explain my tears and he got his cell phone early. I called up the company and gave them a piece of my mind the next day. They didn't seem phased. But he did enjoy that cell phone anyway.

CM6:
For Cassidi’s first Christmas, she looked like a speckled puppy. She was two months shy of being a year old to get the chicken pox vaccine. That was one shot she didn’t have to get. She was still adorable.

CM7:
Everywhere I go, I get a Christmas ornament for my tree. When Tony’s and my Mom were still with us, I got one for them, too. For Mom’s last Christmas, she put a lot of the ornaments from our travels on her tree. Someone finally found them and they made their way back to me a few years back. We have a special container for each of them and every year we put them on the tree. It’s so special to have them and think of her as we’re decorating. Miss her much.
CM8:
I like animals, but those that live outside. The girls always wanted a dog. In 2000, we finally decided that with Tony working from home to help train an inside dog, it was time.

We did the research and found that chocolate lab males were basically foot warmers. Tony started to search for a puppy for Christmas. He found one that had been returned from a family that just wasn't as ready as they were for a dog.

We brought him home a couple of days before Christmas. After work, Tony met me with him and he was adorable. We knew the girls were going to be in Heaven.
We walked into the house and let him go. The girls came running and they asked whose dog it was. When we told them he was theirs, they didn’t believe us. Finally they understood and the three of them collapsed into a heap of kisses, slobbers, and smiles. And of course the excited puppy peed.
We still miss our Mo Man.
ey thought they were for a dog.

We brought him home a couple of days before Christmas. After work, Tony met me with him and he was adorable. We knew the girls were going to be in Heaven.

We walked into the house and let him go. The girls came running and they asked who's dog it was. When we told them he was theirs, they didn't believe us. Finally they understood and the three of them collapsed into a heap of kisses, slobbers, and smiles. And of course the excited puppy peed.

We still miss our Mo Man.

CM9:
One year Santa wrote Jennifer a letter and left it Christmas morning. She insists it was my handwriting and on my stationary. I told her he didn't have any paper of his own and had to borrow mine. And if she could actually read it, it wasn't possibly my handwriting as mine is horrible!!! To this day, she still doesn't believe me :(

CM10:
When Cassidi McCann was twoish, we got the movie Frosty for her to watch. We started playing it around Thanksgiving and it played no less than five times a day until the day after Christmas. This went on for two years. Each and every time, she cried when Frosty melted. Unfortunately she doesn't remember any of this and how entirely adorable it was. But the three of us do and wish that somehow it would get rid of her current Grinch Christmas ways :)

CM11:
Not having a lot of money herself growing up that continued into her marriage with five children, Mom always baked goodies to give away at Christmas. Cookies, pecan tarts, fudge, peanut butter balls, you name it! Sitting at the table with sugar cookies, icing, and sprinkles helping her will always be a fond memory.

I've carried on her baking tradition each of the 28 years I've been married. I have the bowl she used when making her famous sour dough bread. It's a wonderful way to include her in our holiday. I'll never be the cook or baker that she was, but I continue to give it my best shot.


CM12:
Christmas always equaled cousin time. I remember getting together with my cousins and having the best time. We'd argue and fight, take sides, and play until the wee hours. Those were the days :)
CM13:
I can remember counting down the days and then the hours until my sister
Debbie Pittman would come home for Christmas. That was always better than any gift I could get. I would kick her husband out of bed and sleep with her so we could have girl talk time. Sorry Bill Pittman!
CM14:
In honor of honeymoon, empty nest weekend, I'll share my memory of the first Christmas with Tony. We were seniors and had just started dating the week before. We were having a really bad snow storm but he insisted on coming to see me at the house before he went home from work. He brought me a stuffed animal of a white, fluffy dog and a necklace. Pretty daggone sweet. That was 29 years ago. Three months later, we were married!! A pretty amazing love story if you ask me!!


CM14: In honor of honeymoon, empty nest weekend, I'll share my memory of the first Christmas with Tony. We were seniors and had just started dating the week before. We were having a really bad snow storm but he insisted on coming to see me at the house before he went home from work. He brought me a stuffed animal of a white, fluffy dog and a necklace. Pretty daggone sweet. That was 29 years ago. Three months later, we were married!! A pretty amazing love story if you ask me!!

CM15:
The last time I saw my Mom was Christmas of 2005. We had gone in for the holiday. I asked what she wanted and she gave me a list to choose from, the first time ever. I ended up getting everything on it as she never asked for something specific. I still have the sapphire earrings we got her.

A big snow storm blew in and we had to leave earlier than we expected for fear of getting snowed in. We had a snowball fight in they're front yard. Mom and Dad watched from the front door smiling at our silliness. Tony whizzed a snowball at her at the front door. She didn't get it shut in time and they got wet.

I'm so glad her smile is the last picture I have in my mind.
CM16:
Today was my Mom's Mom's birthday. We called her Mamaw Mae. She was a feisty, independent women. She raised six children in the back woods of West Virginia on her own.

She worked in a machine plant at one time and would get steel splinters in her hands. When I'd go visit, she ask me to dig them out with a needle. When I was really little, she worked in a restaurant, the Hob Nob. I always wanted coffee, and she told me I’d get black knees.


When she got older and ill, she was in a nursing home in Clay WV. When I was home for the holidays, I’d go visit. It broke my heart to see her in that place knowing how fiercely independent she was.
She couldn’t talk, and I don’t know if she ever really knew me. But Mom would always remind her of the tomatoes she’d put in her purse to bring to me that I’d eat like an apple. I always ended up in a puddle of tears.

I know I get my fierce independence from her side of the family. She came from Cherokee blood. When I look in the mirror these days and see my Mom, I also see Mamaw, as they looked so much alike. I miss them both.
Happy birthday Mamaw!nted coffee, and she told me I'd get black knees.

When she got older and ill, she was in a nursing home in Clay WV. When I was home for the holidays, I'd go visit. It broke my heart to see her in that place knowing how fiercely independent she was.

She couldn't talk, and I don't know if she ever really knew me. But Mom would always remind her of the tomatoes she'd put in her purse to bring to me that I'd eat like an apple. I always ended up in a puddle of tears.

I know I get my fierce independence from her side of the family. She came from Cherokee blood. When I look in the mirror these days and see my Mom, I also see Mamaw, as they looked so much alike. I miss them both.

Happy birthday Mamaw!


CM17:
When I was a kid, it seemed we got more snow around Christmas. One year it snowed so much we built tunnels through it. The years of our sledding days off the monster hill behind our house always bring a smile to my face. The cow patties we flew over, the ramps we built, the creek we ran into, and the crashes we survived. Those were the days.

The layers of clothes that we'd peel off to warm by the fire and eat warm soup and drink hot chocolate to thaw out. I can still feel that frozen to the core feeling. And the shiver of snow getting into your boots, up your sleeve, or down your neck. BBBRRRRR…
And snowball fights were always required. Nailing someone in the face was the best. However being the someone nailed in the face wasn’t. I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood, so I was more often on the receiving end of the nailing.

Snowmen and snow angels were also part of the routine. We had snow mobiles and going for long rides over the hills are special memories, too. I’d wrap my arms around Dad’s waist and hold on for dear life. Every time I smell gas exhaust in the winter, I think of that.
I’ve always had a love affair with snow. It’s amazing stuff. I’d love a white Christmas this year, but that doesn’t look likely. I’ll just close my eyes and think of those I’ve had before.e fire and eat warm soup and drink hot chocolate to thaw out. I can still feel that frozen to the core feeling. And the shiver of snow getting into your boots, up your sleeve, or down your neck. BBBRRRRR...

And snowball fights were always required. Nailing someone in the face was the best. However being the someone nailed in the face wasn't. I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood, so I was more often on the receiving end of the nailing.

Snowmen and snow angels were also part of the routine. We had snow mobiles and going for long rides over the hills are special memories, too. I'd wrap my arms around Dad's waist and hold on for dear life. Every time I smell gas exhaust in the winter, I think of that.

I've always had a love affair with snow. It's amazing stuff. I'd love a white Christmas this year, but that doesn't look likely. I'll just close my eyes and think of those I've had before.the fire and eat warm soup and drink hot chocolate to thaw out. I can still feel that frozen to the core feeling. And the shiver of snow getting into your boots, up your sleeve, or down your neck. BBBRRRRR...

And snowball fights were always required. Nailing someone in the face was the best. However being the someone nailed in the face wasn't. I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood, so I was more often on the receiving end of the nailing.

Snowmen and snow angels were also part of the routine. We had snow mobiles and going for long rides over the hills are special memories, too. I'd wrap my arms around Dad's waist and hold on for dear life. Every time I smell gas exhaust in the winter, I think of that.

I've always had a love affair with snow. It's amazing stuff. I'd love a white Christmas this year, but that doesn't look likely. I'll just close my eyes and think of those I've had before.the fire and eat warm soup and drink hot chocolate to thaw out. I can still feel that frozen to the core feeling. And the shiver of snow getting into your boots, up your sleeve, or down your neck. BBBRRRRR...

And snowball fights were always required. Nailing someone in the face was the best. However being the someone nailed in the face wasn't. I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood, so I was more often on the receiving end of the nailing.

Snowmen and snow angels were also part of the routine. We had snow mobiles and going for long rides over the hills are special memories, too. I'd wrap my arms around Dad's waist and hold on for dear life. Every time I smell gas exhaust in the winter, I think of that.

I've always had a love affair with snow. It's amazing stuff. I'd love a white Christmas this year, but that doesn't look likely. I'll just close my eyes and think of those I've had before.
by the fire and eat warm soup and drink hot chocolate to thaw out. I can still feel that frozen to the core feeling. And the shiver of snow getting into your boots, up your sleeve, or down your neck. BBBRRRRR...

And snowball fights were always required. Nailing someone in the face was the best. However being the someone nailed in the face wasn't. I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood, so I was more often on the receiving end of the nailing.

Snowmen and snow angels were also part of the routine. We had snow mobiles and going for long rides over the hills are special memories, too. I'd wrap my arms around Dad's waist and hold on for dear life. Every time I smell gas exhaust in the winter, I think of that.

I've always had a love affair with snow. It's amazing stuff. I'd love a white Christmas this year, but that doesn't look likely. I'll just close my eyes and think of those I've had before.


CM18:
When we were first married, we didn't have much money. I have a ton of nieces and nephews and always wanted to do something for them at Christmas. Many years I made things for them. I miss those days.

I always love getting hand made gifts or goodies as presents for any occasion, as it's so much more meaningful and special. I wish we'd go back to those kinds of traditions as opposed to gift certificates, money, or expensive gadgets and store bought things.

CM19:
Last year's Christmas will hold a special place in our hearts forever. When Eleanor was diagnosed with Leukemia, she had to slow down. We convinced her to let us celebrate Christmas at Robin and Andy's the last few years. But last yea...
r she said it MUST be at her house again. We tried to argue with her, but she insisted!

She cooked the turkey and at least let us we bring the rest. All her children and grandchildren made it in. She loved having the house full of laughter and love again. She was in pain, but hid it well. None of us knew how seriously ill she was, but I'm convinced she did.

She always despised having her picture taken. But last year she asked us to go outside and take pictures of all the kids and families with her and Jay. We later found out that Aunt Debbie did a photo shoot of just her when she visited at Eleanor's request. That should have been our warning, but we were all in denial then.

After the gift exchange, Eleanor went missing. I asked what had happened to her, and we found her in the bath tub soaking her aching muscles. She had pushed too far.

Cassidi cried nearly all the way home thinking it was Grandma's last Christmas. I assured her Grandma was a fighter and she'd be here for many more to come. Famous last words, huh?!

While we've soldiered on in her absence, there are times where we are selfish and want her here with us. This is one of those times.
See More — with
Tony McCann.

CM20:
When Jennifer was about 6 or 7, I decided we would video a tour of our house for my siblings and their families as they had not gotten to see it. We dressed up in our best Christmas attire and sang Christmas carols at the end. I have no idea where Tony was, but he got to avoid the entire shoot.

It was quite hilarious!! I wish I could find the tape to watch again. It just might contain an America's Funniest Videos moment or two — with
Jennifer McCann.

CM21:
Having grown up in the depression era, my Mom was always giving gifts that she got the most bang for her buck. Having so many children and grandchildren, we made her set a limit for each. She shopped at the Dollar Tree a lot. The girls loved getting their Mamaw goodie bags. It was amazing what she could cram in those bags for $25. Socks, underwear, ornaments, knick knacks, candy, stuffed animals, doll babies, McDonalds bucks, you name it! I think they enjoyed her gifts more than any other! — with
Jennifer McCann and Cassidi McCann.

CM22:
The girls had rituals around preparing for Christmas that have now all gone by the wayside.
Jennifer McCann had a stuffed reindeer she loved on all month. Cassidi McCann had a tiny tree she had to put up in her room. We also had a countdown to Christmas calendar that HAD to be hung. I miss the days of their youthful excitement.

CM23:
As we make our way back home from Florida to see Dad for Christmas, it reminds me of the many trips we've made over the years to see family for the holidays. We've done some crazy trips before, but this year probably takes the cake. Driving close to 24 hours to visit for about 12. I know it will be a special memory going forward, and I'm so glad we came.

CM24:
It's been a day filled with preparations to hang out, eat, and enjoy family time. I've always insisted we be home for Christmas Eve as a family. We used to have a a formal sit down dinner in Charlotte. Now we usually just eat whatever's made up and laze around. This togetherness is what makes my world go round. I hope each of you have your definition of Christmas warming your heart! Merry Christmas

CM25:
When the girls were little, as soon as the sun came up they were awake and ready to see what Santa had brought. Now we have to wake Cass up.

The excitement that once made the holiday so much fun is gone. But that doesn't diminish the true meaning of this wondrous season. Having my little family here in our warm cabin in the woods is all the present I'll ever need.

Hug those you love, send loving thoughts to those you can't be with, and thank the guardian angels that have gone before us. Love is what's it's all about. I hope your heart is spilling over with Christmas love!!! Merry Christmas!!

November


For the month of November, I chose to post a daily status on Facebook of thankfulness. I decided to post them all here:

TD1:
I’m thankful for the little things in life that on the surface don’t seem important, but when you look closely, are the threads that hold everything together.

TD2:
I am thankful God chose me to be one of the care givers in the world. I am so grateful for the gift of touch he blessed me with. I only hope those that receive it enjoy it as much as I enjoy sharing it.

TD3:
I am thankful for a day of rest. I don’t always get to partake in them, but sometimes I get more than one. Rejuvenation is the key to a long life. I’m grateful God helped me see the light at an early age. I hope each of you allow yourself a “you” day once in a while.
TD4:
Today I am thankful for the capacity to love and be loved. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today.

TD5:
Today I am thankful for the obstacles in life. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be the strong individual I am today. None have been insurmountable with the help of God, which serves to strengthen my belief that he only presents us with what he knows we can handle. So instead of blaming God for punishing you with a challenge, thank him for loving you and believing in your strength!!
TH6:
Today I am thankful for the amazing plan God has had for my life. I've often question it and felt it needed to be different. But fortunately he's been patient with me and not abandoned me in my ignorance. It's a wonderful life!!

TD7:
I am thankful I was blessed with the gift of being a mom. I had a great example to learn from. I can only hope I'm half the mom she was. I hope I've passed on a few of her great qualities to my girls when it's their turn!!

TD8:
I am thankful for the modern conveniences that let me spend the weekend with my daughters! I'm not a person that requires a lot to make me happy. But give me family time, and I'm good to go. Here's to Thanksgiving dress rehearsals!!

TD9:
Today I am thankful I’m a country dweller. All it takes is one night in the crazy city to crave the peach and quiet of my little cabin in the woods.
TD10:
Today I am thankful for the little diversions in life. I am a huge tennis fan. Well, more like a huge Rafael Nadal fan. He's provided me many hours of entertainment (and high blood pressure)! I like to think my competitive and feisty spirit is one of the things that keeps me young.

TD11:
Today I am thankful for the people that sacrifice their time in serving this country. Time with their loved ones, time living their personal life, and time on this earth. They are the true super heroes and should be celebrated as such.

TD12:
I am thankful for the technology that allows me to keep in touch with those I love.
TD13:
Today I am thankful for the things about each of us that make us unique. If we could see the beauty of being unique versus judging it as different, the world would be a better place.

TD14:
I am thankful I am a morning person. I generally wake up before my alarm goes off (I seriously dislike that noise), my feet hit the ground, and I’m off. To me, that is so much more pleasant than laying in bed dreading the day.

TD15:
Today I am thankful for grumpy days. For without them, we wouldn’t appreciate our happy days as much. I sure hope tomorrow is jubilant to make up for the snarly grumpiness I am currently experiencing!!
TD16:
I am grateful for the end of the work week. I unfortunately don't have anyone to celebrate it with currently. But that will be remedied soon enough!! In the mean time, a horizontal position with light entertainment is in my future!!!

TD17:
I'm so thankful that the nightmare I had last night wasn't true. And for the opportunity to educate Cassidi McCann about the horrors of credit cards before she does anything stupid!!

TD18:
Today I'm thankful for the quaint life I lead. I didn't always like quaint, but fortunately I woke up to it's amazing beauty!

TD19:
Today I am thankful for community. I have met some wonderful neighbors and members of the communities we've lived in throughout the years. Memories of them always bring a smile to my face.

TD20:
Today I am thankful for prayer. The world is full of people suffering and in need of God’s guidance in their life. I’m grateful that even though I can’t be with them directly to support them through their challenge, I can be with them in spirit through prayer. And of course being the recipient of prayers from those that love me is profoundly humbling.
TD21:
Today I am grateful for days that end in vegetative, horizontal positions! It's been a doozy of a week so far, and I still have two days to go! But hey, busy equals faster time ticking which equals my man getting home. So, I'll take it!!!

TD22:
I am thankful I only have to wait five more days to hug my husband!!!
TD23:
I'm thankful my internet went out last night and I wasn't tempted to stay up late. I went to bed at 9!!

TD24:
I’m thankful to have a hone and the means to prepare for a wonderful Thanksgiving. This year just might truly feel like a homecoming with everyone gone. Tony returns from being gone nearly 8 weeks, Cassidi hasn’t been home since August, and I’m thinking it’s been since Cass’ graduation in May since Jen’s been home. Let the merry making begin!!!

TD25:
Today I am thankful that even though she said it was never going to happen, Cassidi is homesick!! It makes me believe that maybe the home we’ve made for her all these years isn’t so bad after all. I’m looking forward to having my little nest full of birds again in the next few days.

TD26:
Today I am thankful baby bird made it home safely (finally)! Now to get Papa bird and Oldest bird here tomorrow. Praying for safe travels amid this crazy weather!!

TD27:
Without a doubt, today I’m thankful I will be wrapping my arms around my hunk of a husband after 5 LONG weeks!!! I may never let go!!

TD 28:
I’m grateful that our ancestors were smart and respectful enough to create a day to be thankful. And I’m even more grateful that it is a tradition that hasn’t gone by the wayside in our pitiful society of today. My little family will be professing our thankfulness throughout this day, and I hope yours will be doing the same! HAPPY THANKSGIVING to one and all!!!

TD29:
Today I am thankful for the morning after. Cassidi McCann went to earn some cash making Christmas wreaths (she's a Scrooge all year long so she'll be full of joyous stories after this I'm sure!), Tony McCann's English clock still hasn't reset so he was up at 6:30, and Jennifer McCann was home to be his companion on his NUMEROUS errands that just HAVE to be done. And I snuggled up under the covers and slept in my temporary empty nest again :)

TD30:
I'm thankful that my whole gang made it home safely and we had a wonderful holiday together.