Front porch sitting sometimes happens without Tony home. Earlier this week I sat for the first time since our sanctuary was violated with the timbering. And during that time, I had quite a few realizations. They're my way of processing, integrating, and moving forward in a positive light related to not just what's happened here, but what is happening in our world today. I thought I'd share since I've made my heart so known. I am healing. I appreciate all the prayers and good energy people have been sending. I know your love is what is also contributing to my healing, as well as the others you're praying for!
As I listened to the night noises, I kept looking over my shoulder in the direction of the newly gouged hole in our forest. There was nothing about the night noises that identified it. They sounded the exact same. I thought back to the day we had gone up there. The noises that day were the same as from my front porch. I tell people I live in a log cabin in the woods all the time. Most probably don't realize how literal I'm being. We probably only get 4 hours of direct sunlight each day the sun actually shines. And here on the Blue Ridge, that's not a whole lot with the fog, rain, and snow factored in.
So I started questioning myself as to why exactly I was so torn up about this clear cutting. There are so many other horrors going on in the world. My little piece of heaven being violated seemed petty in relation. I began the difficult process of peeling away the layers of my mind, body, and spirit to get to the root.
In thinking about the origins of the sounds I was hearing, I realized that piece of property is now mostly devoid of those noises. Which in turn means the bugs and tree frogs are homeless. The birds and squirrel nests are now gone. Displacement - all those critters must find a new place to live. And let's just stop and think what will happen next monsoon season if it's anything like the one from this year. The erosion and turmoil in that ecosystem will quickly impact everything downstream from it. It made me realize how selfish I had been in focusing solely on the eye sore the tree graveyard was.
When all of that hit me, I started cursing the various parties involved. The original owner for raising children that are so callous that money trumps Mother Earth. I moved on to those children that practically gave the property away. Next was the current owners that in such a short sighted move, created a problem much larger than the financial bind they find themselves in requiring them to sell timber to pay for their investment. Of course I threw the actual loggers under the bus for participating in such a scheme. I took it even further to the companies buying it. And finally I cursed the consumer for using it.
And in that final curse, I realized the hypocrite that I am!! I went back to my statement - I live in a log cabin in the woods. Hello!! Dumbass, you are a consumer of wood!! Your house and nearly everything in it are made of trees. Your garage with your art studio is the same. Trees had to be taken down on the property you live on to allow for the construction of your home and the roadway to get to it. Sure, I can justify that the clearing of our land was done for the purpose of living here. That the clear cutting that was done was not simply for financial gain. But if I'm being true to my heart, I have contributed to the act of destroying Mother Earth however indirectly.
And in that realization, I was forced to find forgiveness. And acceptance. And peace. Because if any of the wood I consume was cut for money, surely I have reversed the karma by loving it so tenderly as part of my home. And that led me to the concerning times we live in.
The golden rule of do unto others sure seems to be lost in this world. But if I buy into that and allow it to change my behavior, then I'm just adding to that negativity. Instead of responding to hatred and intolerance with kind, maybe I could change the cycle by replying in love and understanding.
There are numerous people on this planet. Some with good intentions, and some with bad. My heart is only so big. I can allow those with bad intentions to fill my heart with negativity, and join in their bitter picture of the world. Or I can choose to love them and fill my heart with positivity. It truly is all in my perspective. I command it. I decide.
As you wake to each new day, I hope you'll stop and ponder how you will fill your heart. You hold the key to your own happiness. And I hope you choose kindness, understanding, and love to name a few. I will be.