Each of the last four days I have gotten out in nature. Living in a national park has its rewards. The colors of leaves have settled into their deep shade of green and reflect the sun light, brightening everything. It has finally warmed up and walking and doing yoga outside is possible. I LOVE it.
It's amazing how the weather affects my mood. But give me a sun shiny day, and I'm on cloud 9. We've had a few in a row now, so I'm good to go. Summer is a good thing!
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Focus
Focus, direction, path, goal. All of these words are interchangeable to me. And in my mind, the easiest way to achieve or accomplish them is through positivity. But being human, I fall off that wagon occasionally. Being a busy bee, I tend to over do it more often than not. And in doing that, negativity creeps in.
Staying positive is hard work. There are so many sad and bad things that happen in the world today. The news is full of such events. Each of us have our own crosses to bear when it comes to the challenges we face in life. But the way I see it, we can be negative and let them tear us down, or we can use them as opportunities to grow by finding the silver lining in every cloud.
I often tell my girls that it's easy to be a self fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom. The heavy lifting comes when we are asked to stay positive in the face of adversity. And let's face it, life is chock full of adversity. Our strength is tested on a regular basis. I feel our true purpose in life is to draw on that strength and stay the course.
Staying positive is hard work. There are so many sad and bad things that happen in the world today. The news is full of such events. Each of us have our own crosses to bear when it comes to the challenges we face in life. But the way I see it, we can be negative and let them tear us down, or we can use them as opportunities to grow by finding the silver lining in every cloud.
I often tell my girls that it's easy to be a self fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom. The heavy lifting comes when we are asked to stay positive in the face of adversity. And let's face it, life is chock full of adversity. Our strength is tested on a regular basis. I feel our true purpose in life is to draw on that strength and stay the course.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Shoes
The old saying of "you need to travel a mile in someone else's shoes before you can fully understand their life" could not be more true than in the case of motherhood. That saying resonates more and more loudly the older I become as a mother. And as the number of years of my own mother's absence increases, I come to appreciate the many acts of motherly love she committed in her short 65 years with us.
Mothering is a constant act. It is not a coat you don in the winter and store for the summer. From the moment you find out you are pregnant until you earn your angel wings, you are a mother. Sleepless nights of caring for infants to shewing away the monsters in the closet to mending puppy love broken hearts to sleepless nights of worry as they get their drivers license to anxious jitters as they test their wings flying from the nest - these are the things that occupy a mother's heart.
My mother had five children. I only have two. When I think of all the love and effort I put into my two and compare it to what she had to endure, it staggers me. As a child that is the recipient of all of that love, we never stop to consider the feelings of the giver. We take it for granted and expect even more never contemplating the sacrifices made on our behalf.
To many, I am known as Jennifer or Cassidi's Mom. My existence as an individual fell by the wayside along the way. To some, that might be demeaning. But to a mother, it is a title held with great pride. There is no greater fan for her child than a mother. And my mother was no exception. She bragged on all of us until her friends were sick of hearing our names.
As my youngest is about to leave the nest, I'm reminded yet again of the inconsideration I showed my Mom. For one, my daughter is like me in every way possible. The things she says and does are the exact same things I did to my Mom. As I feel the sting of those words and actions, it makes me wish Mom was here so I could apologize.
The paths we travel in life have a way of coming full circle. The other saying of "you reap what you sow" rings loudly in my ears. I wish I had been more graceful in my youth. Not just so I could have a clear conscience, but more importantly, so my mother could have known all the work and love and sacrifices she made were truly appreciated.
I did get to say a few apologies along the way and she always shrugged them off. True to form, she told me the successes I had in life were all the appreciation she ever wanted or needed. Ever selfless to the very end.
So as I do my best to be Mom, I know she's with me every step of the way. She led me by example and it's her acts I try to recreate for my own daughters. At this point, that is the only way I know how to celebrate her life properly. She had many definitions of herself in life, but mother was the only one she truly embraced.
I am honored to be the daughter of Reba Ann Eagle Given. She was one of the best mothers I know. I hope she's enjoying her birthday in Heaven with all of the angels. And I hope she's proud of the way I'm trying to wear her shoes.
Mothering is a constant act. It is not a coat you don in the winter and store for the summer. From the moment you find out you are pregnant until you earn your angel wings, you are a mother. Sleepless nights of caring for infants to shewing away the monsters in the closet to mending puppy love broken hearts to sleepless nights of worry as they get their drivers license to anxious jitters as they test their wings flying from the nest - these are the things that occupy a mother's heart.
My mother had five children. I only have two. When I think of all the love and effort I put into my two and compare it to what she had to endure, it staggers me. As a child that is the recipient of all of that love, we never stop to consider the feelings of the giver. We take it for granted and expect even more never contemplating the sacrifices made on our behalf.
To many, I am known as Jennifer or Cassidi's Mom. My existence as an individual fell by the wayside along the way. To some, that might be demeaning. But to a mother, it is a title held with great pride. There is no greater fan for her child than a mother. And my mother was no exception. She bragged on all of us until her friends were sick of hearing our names.
As my youngest is about to leave the nest, I'm reminded yet again of the inconsideration I showed my Mom. For one, my daughter is like me in every way possible. The things she says and does are the exact same things I did to my Mom. As I feel the sting of those words and actions, it makes me wish Mom was here so I could apologize.
The paths we travel in life have a way of coming full circle. The other saying of "you reap what you sow" rings loudly in my ears. I wish I had been more graceful in my youth. Not just so I could have a clear conscience, but more importantly, so my mother could have known all the work and love and sacrifices she made were truly appreciated.
I did get to say a few apologies along the way and she always shrugged them off. True to form, she told me the successes I had in life were all the appreciation she ever wanted or needed. Ever selfless to the very end.
So as I do my best to be Mom, I know she's with me every step of the way. She led me by example and it's her acts I try to recreate for my own daughters. At this point, that is the only way I know how to celebrate her life properly. She had many definitions of herself in life, but mother was the only one she truly embraced.
I am honored to be the daughter of Reba Ann Eagle Given. She was one of the best mothers I know. I hope she's enjoying her birthday in Heaven with all of the angels. And I hope she's proud of the way I'm trying to wear her shoes.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Exercise
One of the first things I need to get back to for me is exercise. I did a little bit of that this morning. I went for a walk that was probably about 2 miles. It included a fairly big hill and as my heart pounded, it reminded me that I need to make fitness a priority.
Most of the time when we're outside here, we see critters. I didn't see any today, though. I did walk by the field Lady is buried in. I didn't see any deer over by her or butterflies flying. But the field is full of tall grasses and flowers. I know she's enjoying her rest and is in a happy place.
The circle included a stop at our neighbors on the hill. They lost their daughter nearly two years ago. Jennifer had just graduated high school and was tragically killed in a car accident. They have a beautiful fire pit that whenever I'm over that way, I take a moment to reflect and revisit her spirit. She was a special girl. Always smiling and cheerful. They hardly ever come up any more, and we miss them.
When I got back, I did yoga on the front porch. I've so missed my yoga after taking off teaching the last year. I sure hope God has a plan to put it back in my path. It's so good for my soul, and of course, my body. But until then, I have to get back to a regular private practice.
Today was a great day for my mind, body, and spirit. I'm looking forward to more to come.
Most of the time when we're outside here, we see critters. I didn't see any today, though. I did walk by the field Lady is buried in. I didn't see any deer over by her or butterflies flying. But the field is full of tall grasses and flowers. I know she's enjoying her rest and is in a happy place.
The circle included a stop at our neighbors on the hill. They lost their daughter nearly two years ago. Jennifer had just graduated high school and was tragically killed in a car accident. They have a beautiful fire pit that whenever I'm over that way, I take a moment to reflect and revisit her spirit. She was a special girl. Always smiling and cheerful. They hardly ever come up any more, and we miss them.
When I got back, I did yoga on the front porch. I've so missed my yoga after taking off teaching the last year. I sure hope God has a plan to put it back in my path. It's so good for my soul, and of course, my body. But until then, I have to get back to a regular private practice.
Today was a great day for my mind, body, and spirit. I'm looking forward to more to come.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Hypnotic
What is it about a campfire fire that produces trancelike states? Tonight we had a campfire in the cool mountain air. It was wonderful. As we sat by the burning embers, we discussed the state of the world, the advancements of man, and the clearing skies exposing the beautiful stars overhead. All the while our eyes were locked in an unbreakable gaze at the dancing flames.
Thoughout our 28+ years together, we've enjoyed many campfires. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we're in our own world of self conversation. But a campfire has a way of pulling you closer to those around you. It creates a sense of community. People have huddled around a warm glow for centuries.
As a kid, we camped a great deal. I have a lot of fond memories of stories told, marshmallows toasted, and fighting over the fire stick. I can't tell you how many times I was told I'd pee the bed for playing in the fire. I still drive Tony crazy constantly managing the fire.
And the smells. There is nothing like the smell of campfire on your clothes. Or the smell of nature all around you while sitting in the great outdoors transfixed on the circle of fire. If we could bottle those smells up and sell them, we'd be rich for sure.
Tonight we saw the first lightning bug of the season. The first of many, I hope. And I know the campfire we shared will not be the last. Living in the woods in our little cabin on the hill comes with many benefits. But being able to have a campfire and drawn into a hypnotic state has to top the list.
Thoughout our 28+ years together, we've enjoyed many campfires. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we're in our own world of self conversation. But a campfire has a way of pulling you closer to those around you. It creates a sense of community. People have huddled around a warm glow for centuries.
As a kid, we camped a great deal. I have a lot of fond memories of stories told, marshmallows toasted, and fighting over the fire stick. I can't tell you how many times I was told I'd pee the bed for playing in the fire. I still drive Tony crazy constantly managing the fire.
And the smells. There is nothing like the smell of campfire on your clothes. Or the smell of nature all around you while sitting in the great outdoors transfixed on the circle of fire. If we could bottle those smells up and sell them, we'd be rich for sure.
Tonight we saw the first lightning bug of the season. The first of many, I hope. And I know the campfire we shared will not be the last. Living in the woods in our little cabin on the hill comes with many benefits. But being able to have a campfire and drawn into a hypnotic state has to top the list.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Lazy
I spent the day recovering. I'm not as young as I once was. I took the day to jump off the roller coaster ride and rest. It was a beautiful day on the mountain. I hated to waste such a nice day, but I knew I didn't have the energy to do much else. Hopefully, tomorrow I can enjoy the day off with the family. Laziness is not something that's usually in my vocabulary, but the older I get, the more I have a feeling it's going to creep in.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
TGIS
I know I'm a day late for the traditional acronym, but it's been a busy week after. I was really hoping this was going to be the let me down easy week. Two 1.5 hour away tennis matches and 20 hours of massage in 3 days the week after the tread mill marathon I've been running the last few weeks was not really what I was hoping for.
But tomorrow is Sunday. And more importantly, it is the start of the French Open. The French Open has been ruled by my main man, Rafael Nadal, for the last seven of eight years. I'm expecting him to make me VERY happy two weeks from this Sunday by hoisting his 8th winners trophy. Anything less, and I'm gonna be an ugly tennis fan.
It's the important things in life I'm focused on :)
But tomorrow is Sunday. And more importantly, it is the start of the French Open. The French Open has been ruled by my main man, Rafael Nadal, for the last seven of eight years. I'm expecting him to make me VERY happy two weeks from this Sunday by hoisting his 8th winners trophy. Anything less, and I'm gonna be an ugly tennis fan.
It's the important things in life I'm focused on :)
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