Six Months

Today is the six month anniversary of Eleanor's passing. One day it feels like it has been forever. The next,  it seems like it was just yesterday. And even still, it seems impossible that she's gone. Our minds play tricks on us when we're least prepared.

A couple of weeks ago we were sorting through old boxes up at the garage. Tony has a phone with an answering machine plugged into it up there. I didn't think it ever picked up any calls as our house phone has an answering service on it. I was fiddling with it, and all of a sudden Eleanor was talking!

I was so excited! Tony was upstairs, and I yelled for him to come and listen. We had found so many things as we were sorting that reminded us of her - old cards, pictures, and gifts from her. I even found a check she had sent me for my birthday back in 2004. I'm sure I gave her a gray hair or two in not cashing that thing. She used to fuss at us regularly for messing up her check book.

But hearing her voice was the icing on the cake. I couldn't help but believe it was her way of letting us know she's still here with us. It definitely warmed my heart.

I spoke with Jay last night. I mentioned that today made six months. His voice caught a moment but then he said he had to go on. I assured him it's exactly what she'd expect us to be doing. I have a feeling it is a mantra that he repeats frequently to remind himself.

The sons have all found their peace in her absence. Tony is working in England with a contract, Jeff stays busy with his work and family, and Andy has had a busy year with his business and family.

The grandchildren have made their way as well. Jennifer is busy with work in Richmond, Kayla is expecting a baby boy in a matter of weeks to carry on to the next generation, Cassidi heads to UVA in a week, and Derek, Blake, Hannah, and Maddie head back to school. 

Life does go on and that is not a bad thing. To cry, laugh, be sorrowful, or joyful is normal. It means we're living, which in turn means we are healing. The important thing to keep in mind is that we remember. We all keep a piece of her in our hearts. She'll never be gone to any of us.

I hope this post finds each of you doing the same living that we are - one day at a time. We still feel your prayers and could never thank you enough for them.