Positivity

I tend to be a glass half full person most of the time. In some cases I fall victim to the Ellen Degeneres way of thinking which is if I expect the worst and something better happens, then I win. But for the most part, I look for the positive viewpoint.

When I was in massage school they taught us about positivity attracting positivity. One example they give us was this experiment this guy did with water crystals. He used the same source of water, put them in the same kind of containers, and froze them. But before he did, he spoke a word to the vial and labeled each with that word. Some words he used were love, happiness, and beautiful. Others were hate, anger, and ugly. He did hundreds of experiments with different word. And once the water froze he looked at the ice crystals under a microscope.

The positive words formed beautiful, complete crystals. The negative words were deformed and incomplete crystals. The point they were trying to make is that we are all made up of water. And if we speak negatively towards ourselves or have someone speaking badly to us, we take on that negativity. It was an important lesson for me.

There are times when I get down on myself or others. I'm as human as is the next person and fall prey to judging. But I do try to come to my senses eventually and realize that if I fill my heart with negativity there will be less room for positivity. I do my best to forgive, forget, and move on.

That doesn't mean I'm a doormat by any means. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I do my best to learn who the positive forces are in life and try to stay close to them. The others, I try to avoid as much as possible.

Teaching my girls this concept has been difficult. Being young and not having experienced the school of hard knock as many times, they are quick to trust. They try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to jade them with my fairly accurate "positivity radar". But it is hard to see them walk into a brick wall and not try to warn them. And even harder to not say afterward that you tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen.

As parents our job is to pick them up when they fall, brush off the dirt, and set them on their way again. But you do shake your head when they keep trying to walk through the same brick walls over and over. I have to keep reminding myself that I wasn't born with my radar. I developed it over time stubbing my own toes and scrapping my own knees. The school of hard knocks truly is the best educator.

So the next time you or someone you love stumbles, try to focus on the potential positivity it brings. Yes it might be a tragic event that you have to endure, but it will make you wiser and stronger the next go round. That is all we can ask of ourselves and of each other.