The passage of time

It's crazy how the perception of time is so relative. A day can last forever at times, while at others, a year can pass in the blink of an eye. And of course the "tense" in which your viewing time plays a significant role. The past seems to be measured in minutes, while the present and future are measured by a calendar. This week I celebrated a major milestone anniversary that gave me pause to review life.

March 24th was our 25th wedding anniversary. Even as I type that, it takes my breath away. I cannot for the life of me imagine doing anything for 25 years, let alone being married. I remember celebrating Tony's parents' 25th and wondering if we'd have the privilege of seeing that day. With the various roller coasters we've ridden, there were definitely times when I had my doubts.

Considering the precarious start that we had, it sure would have led the average bear to place his bet on the "never gonna make it" vote. I was 18 and Tony was 17. We were seniors in high school. We had been dating for only two months when I found out I was pregnant. Before that, we both had dreams of college, a life outside the confines of a small town, and all that success that life had to offer. To say that we were devastated at the news would be an understatement.

That was our perspective. Our parents had to be mortified. I was the youngest of five children. My brother had made a pass at college, but I was the last one that was a serious contender for being the first to get a college degree. Tony was the oldest and expected to set the precedent in his family. This turn in the road seemingly foiled all of those plans.

Fortunately for us, our parents overcame the initial shock and pulled together to lift us out of the rut we had dug ourselves into. My Mom got busy on wedding plans and we were married Sunday, March 24, 1985. Once we graduated high school, Tony's parents paved the way for him to attend college at Appalachian State University. Our parents did all they could in helping us get set up in Boone.

It was a scary venture to move to a place where we didn't know anyone nor had any family. But then again, in my naive mind, it was almost like a fairy tale of happily ever after. A new town where no one knew us or our "story", sounded refreshing after the humiliation that plagued us in Tazewell. It wasn't long before reality set in.

I was quite lonely as Tony went to school and work, and I tended to the affairs of the home. It was a time before unlimited long distance plans, cell phones, and internet. While I was surrounded by people, it was as if I was on a deserted island. The only person I interacted with was Tony, unless you counted the check out clerks at the grocery store. I'm not a person that's easily depressed, but the hormones of pregnancy on top of it all made for challenging circumstances.

Jennifer was born November 7, 1985 back in Tazewell. Fortunately I had nephews and nieces that I had been around to know how to care for her. But there were still times I struggled to know what to do as a Mother. On top of that, I struggled to know how to be a good wife. I didn't fully grasp the concept that when I got married and had a child, that my life as an individual was gone. My mind let me believe immature thoughts and those thoughts just festered and grew into poison.

That was the first of the multiple roller coaster rides my emotions led us on in our marriage. It does take two to tango, so I'll not take credit for all of our ups and downs over the years. We've both made mistakes along the way and have done our best to learn from them. We are a living testament of "that which does not kill us, only makes us stronger".

We survived both of our college educations, moving to "the big city" of Charlotte, crazy corporate jobs, and welcoming another daughter, Cassidi born February 21, 1995. Raising Jennifer in the city proved to be more adventure than we could bear so we moved back to the country once she went to college. We're in a little town in the mountains of Virginia, not far from Tazewell. It's great to be back to the small town environment. It truly does take a village to raise a child!

When looking back at the beginning of our marriage, some things seem like they just happened yesterday. Others seem like far more than 25 years ago. But one thing is certain. I am so grateful that I took the plunge with Tony McCann. We have grown up together and have beaten all of the odds placed against us. Sure, we still can have some knock down, drag outs. But we always kiss and make up.

The passage of time fortunately brought with it the passage of maturity in our case. It would have been nice if growing up had been easy and pain free. But we've found the best lessons learned come from the school of hard knocks- we're a little hard headed like that! And it seems we've passed that trait on to our wonderful daughters (sorry girls!). But like Tony always says, a good adventure keeps life from being boring.

Here's to 25 more years of adventure. I'm thinking we'll be a little slower paced and hopefully a little less hard headed. But I highly doubt the adventures will be any less exciting. Thank you Tony for sticking with me through thick and thin. Thank you for loving me and believing in my potential. Thank you for the inadvertent gray hairs and wrinkles that I know are just a byproduct of all the wonderful adventures, but are evidence that it's not just a dream.

Happy Anniversary! I love you!!