Check Marks

No words can describe that feeling when you've been able to accomplish something that seemed impossible. I've found myself behind more than my fair share of 8 balls in my life. Most of them have been self inflicted and very few of them have been life altering. But the experience of having something to do and then doing it provides such pride.

Last week I came to the realization that Cass will be graduating in less than two months. I haven't had my mental melt down over that yet, but the way I decided to avoid it was to get busy. I'm a list maker, because I do so much better seeing things in black and white. Once I have the full range of what's at hand on paper (or in this case my iPad), I can formulate my plan of attack.

And attack I did. In the electronic world I live in, I don't get to have check marks anymore. But I can delete items off the list. And when my list diminishes, I know I've made progress. It's so strange how the simple task of reducing a To Do list can provide such pleasure.

There is still a HUGE amount of work left to do. But I will go to bed tonight knowing I still have it in me to take care of business. I have a feeling I'll be dreaming about lists and seeing BIG check marks!

Overwhelmed

Last week I made the mistake of making a list of all the things I need to get done between now and August when Cass goes to college. The large majority of them have to be done in less than two months for her prom and/or graduation. I like to kid myself that I've become more type B like, but it's times like these when my manic type A goes into overdrive.

Tomorrow is a BIG day. Cass is off school for spring break for the day, and I'm going to put her to work. We are going to tie up a lot of the loose ends that are dangling right now. I sure hope I can be as successful in reality as I'm thinking in theory. She's going to love having to wake up before 10. I can hear her ranting already.

Today might be the last lazy day I'm allowed in some time. But if I can get things done now, I can enjoy the moments when they get here. It's time to kick my energizer bunny into warp speed.

And speaking of bunnies. Happy Easter!

Traditions

In a family, there are acts that are repeated over and over to the point of them becoming second nature. That usually is coupled with taking them for granted. Through the years, the holidays we celebrate suffer the same consequences. You get to a point where it seems you're just going through the motions.

I don't know if it's old age, the fact that this is the last year of having a child at home, the fact that we've lost both our Mothers, or just what it is. But I am becoming more present in the moments we share together as a family. It's not just the big things I notice, but more the small things.

Jennifer came in today to spend Easter with us. We sat down to dinner together as a family for the first time since Christmas. As usual our conversation jumped all over the place. We talked about tattoos, Cassidi's senior family trip, Jennifer's senior family trip, Jennifer's job, Cassidi's school happenings, college, Jennifer's dog, our animals, the food we were eating, Cassidi's finickiness, etc. It's all stream of consciousness and whoever can keep the best train of thought gets their questions answered. Those that can't, stay confused. Bless his heart, it's usually Tony with the deer in the headlights look. A by product of living in a house full of women.

After dinner, we sat around and continued with more conversation. It's only when Jennifer comes home that we can extract Cassidi from her dungeon. Jen doesn't like it down there because she remembers when it was enclosed and had a door. She was afraid she get locked down there. She's obviously watched too many scary movies.

Having the family together is nourishing. We fight, bicker, and argue. But we also love, appreciate, and encourage. It is a time to reminisce about the past and plan the future. Jennifer remembers home more as Charlotte. But since we've been here nearly 7 years now, she's gotten used to the notion of calling it home. As with most people, it doesn't matter what structure you live in, but the warmth you feel that defines home.

I'm grateful for my little family. We might not always see eye to eye, but we always love each other at the end of the day. These are the traditions that I hope carry on from year to year and from generation to generation. Our parents taught us these practices and we're teaching them to our girls. I'm so appreciative that we came from loving homes and can pass that on to our children.

I hope each of you have someone to love and someone that loves you this Easter weekend. The Fancy Gap McCanns send you our love and prayers of peace.

Grumpy

I need a mood change. Wish I knew where I could buy a permanent one. I know it's all in my perspective. Every time I find a bright side, someone else gives me reason to look at the clouds. I think I give them too much control. Maybe I need to start pursuing life like so many others do these days. Do what I want and not be concerned how it impacts others. So maybe it's not a mood I need to buy, but have my conscious removed.

SCORE

Shoulda, coulda, woulda, thought about it, I meant to, I was gonna. These are words and phrases used in my house FAR too often. They always follow a question of "Why didn't you....". If I had a penny for every time one of these words were spoken in my house, I'd be a bazillionaire. 

After the first few thousand, I lost my patience. I screamed and hollered and ranted and RAVED. It does no good. The same six words and phrases get repeated. Maybe I've been doing it all wrong. Instead of asking the question, I need to start doling out consequences for infractions since I already know the answer.

I actually did that today. Cassidi didn't do something I had asked her to do last night. I got the apology, the I meant to, and the oh well response. I didn't take too kindly to it. It didn't help her cause that we've had more than a few of these conversations lately.

I decided it was time to take a stand. She had to come home instead of getting to go to her friend's house for the long Easter break. I left her a nice long list of things I wanted done (which yes, included the thing she didn't do to begin with). After she was done with that, I asked for a letter.

I wanted an apology, an acknowledgement of guilt, and an identification of specific appreciation she needs to have for me. After she completed all the items on the list, including my letter, she was free to go. I'd LOVE to know how many minutes it took her to complete the list. I guarantee with the count down to freedom at stake, it wasn't long.

Will it work the next time I ask the question? Or will it keep the question from even needing to be asked? I doubt it. But I felt like I scored one for the Moms out there today!! I know I felt better when I read my letter, even if I did get it under duress.

Sue happy

I've written a lot about the disrespectful state of our country and the mindset of "it's all about me" that is so predominant. This morning as I was reading the news headlines, I found yet another example. This one is even more disturbing, because I feel it abuses the efforts this country has made to provide equality for the handicapped.

If you've ever been to the Disney parks, I'm sure you've been on the  "It's a small world" ride. Unless you're a young child, you were more than likely ready to strangle someone by the end as the song played over and over and OVER! Most adults are understandably eager to exit the ride as soon as possible. Unfortunately at Disneyland it broke down recently. Everyone was asked to exit.

There was a handicapped gentleman that had to wait on his wheelchair. The staff went to retrieve it, but did not get to him quickly enough in his opinion. From the time the ride broke down, the staff evaluated the situation, the determination made to evacuate everyone, the evacuation process occurred, and retrieved the wheelchair, 30 minutes transpired. He suffers from an anxiety disorder which was compounded by the fact that he had to urinate. He chose to sue Disney for for their negligence and his mental anguish of having to listen to the song with a full bladder.

Sound absurd to you or reasonable injustice? A jury found it reasonable injustice and awarded him $8000 in damages. I don't know who to be more angry with - the gentleman (a stretch to call him that) suing, the lawyer arguing the case, the judge for not throwing it out, or the jury for awarding him anything more than the price of his admission ticket. These are exactly the kinds of cases that make a victim out of any situation.

And as I said originally, that it is coming from a person that is handicapped is so frustrating. The Disney organization has done a tremendous job in making every accommodation for handicapped individuals. The fact that the ride is even available to the  handicapped is a credit to their commitment to serve all citizens. As a result of this suit, they were also found to be in violation of the standard height of a counter for handicapped people at the first aid station. It has already been fixed.

I realize that there were a lot of court cases that had to go through to require businesses to provide for handicapped citizens. As a business owner, I can attest to the difficulty and expense that it takes to accommodate the handicapped. But these types of cases only give a bad name to a group of people that have had to claw and scratch their way to equality. 

I hope he enjoys his $8000. It surely came at the expense of future patrons of Disney that will have to pay for it through increased prices that are already over inflated. But wait, we can't attribute it just to him. There have been countless others that have sued them and settlements made. At this point, I wouldn't blame any business for closing their doors. But thank goodness the magic kingdom has deep pockets (thanks to us parents that fulfill our children's dreams at any cost) to absorb the blows.

Equality

It's amazing to me that we have to have government intervention to define equality between one human being and another. I know I'm dense, but I really just don't get it. In my mind it is sheer ignorance and arrogance that one person, group of people, or government should preside over equality.

First off, in order to compare two things, there has to be a baseline. So what determines what that is? Who defines what is "normal"? Who says this is right and that is wrong?

Many people point to the bible. We were given 10 principles to follow in living well. But when I look at those, not once does it mention anything about one sex, race, religion, or country being greater than another. No where does it define what constitutes a marital relationship. There is no pecking order established that makes anyone superior to others.

Sure, there are plenty of others pages in the bible providing direction and guidance. There is also this magical concept that God is the judge. He specifically instructs us NOT to judge one another, but to leave it to him. We are instructed to love one another and do no harm.

It is human nature to judge. Within the very book that tells us not to judge, there are numerous parables making judgments. It is those parables we look to in guiding us, as well.

But the thing I always get hung up on when it comes to the bible is this. It was not originally written in English. And the group of folks that translated it are a little suspect to me.

I love learning about the English monarchy. I have read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies on it. That doesn't make me an expert by any means, but I have seen a lot of consistencies in the behaviors of both the monarchs and their advisors. In those days, the advisors were religious figures.

The bible was authorized by King James. He was the son of Mary, Queen of Scots. She was beheaded by Queen Elizabeth I for trying to steal her throne. Elizabeth was the illegitimate daughter of Anne Boleyn and Henry the VIII. Henry had Anne beheaded for adultery and witchcraft. The witchcraft was based on her differing religious views. All that being said, James was very adamant about "righting" the religious ship after it wavered back and forth in the reigns before him.

So a leader influenced by a church that was more than happy to be back in power after years of exclusion doesn't leave me with a lot of confidence that a book that will become the gospel to all future generations was translated without bias. Shew, that was a major run on sentence, I know. But hopefully you get my point.

Goodness knows that many of you reading this will want to string me up for heresy for questioning the bible. But I hope you will set that aside and hear the true meaning of this post. Judging someone for your own personal gain is greed. Greed does harm. There should be no distinction in the way in which we are treated by our fellow humans for any reason when our actions do no harm. Period, end of story, no questions asked.

We don't need a government to tell us how to behave like mature, intelligent, compassionate human beings. We need only look in our hearts.